Friday, March 16, 2012

The Blog Title

When I was in the midst of my infertility struggle, it was madness and darkness nearly every day.  Colors literally seemed more dull, I was sad constantly, and thanks to those fabulous fertility drugs, well, let's just say my thoughts weren't always rational.

I don't know anyone who has struggled with infertility who hasn't felt the same way at times.  It's a dark and dreary place, to be sure.  Sometimes the hopelessness is relentless.  Whenever you look up and around and attempt to live your life, there's that black cloud staring you down.  Sometimes it's the general feeling of sadness.  Sometimes it's in the form of parents with their babies or a hugely pregnant belly or even a baby store. 

The constant reminders of what you don't have (and desperately desire) practically taunt you.  "Na-nee-na-nee you can't have me!"  You know Eeyore?  'Nough said.  

When I was in the midst of this sadness and desperation, I came across a quote by Wayne Dyer, who's one of my favorite speakers and writers.  He said, "Even when you're in the gutter, you have the option of looking up at the stars." 

It really stuck with me.

I could continue taking a look around at my immediate surroundings (the gutter), or I could grasp onto the tiniest bit of hope that all would be well (look up at the stars).  Somehow, this was super comforting to me.  I didn't feel so stuck.  I had choices!

This is a quote I use often in my practice as I help others navigate infertility, adoption, and a plethora of other mental health issues.  Afterall, we all struggle, right?  We all want to feel some semblance of control, which is something we often lose when dealing with difficult times.  Sometimes the weight of our struggles are too heavy for us to look up at the stars, and that's okay, too.  At least the option is there.

The option is always there.

Hence, a blog title was born.

Be Well,
~M

11 comments:

  1. Great quote. I look forward to reading your blog!

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  2. Hi Maria! Glad to have come across your blog via ICLW and to learn a little about your journey. Very interesting to hear the perspective of a therapist. The sentiment of that quote is definitely something that has the ability to inspire hope and motivation. I'm going to hang onto that one for sure. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Hi Ess, You're so welcome. I go back to it over and over...always makes me smile.

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  3. Hello from ICLW, and welcome to the world of blogging! I'm fairly new at it too - my blog is just over two months old. I love this quote and your explanation of how you chose your blog name, and I look forward to reading more here.

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    1. Hi Elizabeth....thank you! I've actually been IF blogging incognito for quite sometime, so it's cool to be "out there" now. Welcome!

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  4. Here from ICLW! I like the title, it's very apropos to the journey.

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  5. Hi from ICLW!!

    Beautiful is all I can say!

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  6. I really love that thought! I'm also a therapist, but I don't think I could specialize in infertility-related stuff until I resolve my IF one way or another. As it is, I have a really hard time working with one client that's pregnant. I haven't had anyone that knows they're infertile come across my desk, although I have one that thinks she likely has PCOS and is concerned about when she becomes ready to try. Having her is easy for me because I can give her information and because she's not trying yet. When in your process did you start specializing in IF/adoption?

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Thanks! You've grown a few more brain cells by commenting. No really...you have.