When I was in the midst of my infertility struggle, it was madness and darkness nearly every day. Colors literally seemed more dull, I was sad constantly, and thanks to those fabulous fertility drugs, well, let's just say my thoughts weren't always rational.
I don't know anyone who has struggled with infertility who hasn't felt the same way at times. It's a dark and dreary place, to be sure. Sometimes the hopelessness is relentless. Whenever you look up and around and attempt to live your life, there's that black cloud staring you down. Sometimes it's the general feeling of sadness. Sometimes it's in the form of parents with their babies or a hugely pregnant belly or even a baby store.
The constant reminders of what you don't have (and desperately desire) practically taunt you. "Na-nee-na-nee you can't have me!" You know Eeyore? 'Nough said.
When I was in the midst of this sadness and desperation, I came across a quote by Wayne Dyer, who's one of my favorite speakers and writers. He said, "Even when you're in the gutter, you have the option of looking up at the stars."
It really stuck with me.
I could continue taking a look around at my immediate surroundings (the gutter), or I could grasp onto the tiniest bit of hope that all would be well (look up at the stars). Somehow, this was super comforting to me. I didn't feel so stuck. I had choices!
This is a quote I use often in my practice as I help others navigate infertility, adoption, and a plethora of other mental health issues. Afterall, we all struggle, right? We all want to feel some semblance of control, which is something we often lose when dealing with difficult times. Sometimes the weight of our struggles are too heavy for us to look up at the stars, and that's okay, too. At least the option is there.
The option is always there.
Hence, a blog title was born.