Saturday, April 14, 2012

My Dream Day

HAWMC Day 14 asks us to write about our "dream day."

(You can start at HAWMC Day 1 here)

I read an article recently (and dangit, I can't remember where, or I'd link it up for you) where the author stated something like, "If I always had good moments, how would I know they were good?  I need to have the bad moments to recognize the good moments."

Does that make sense to you?  On a very small scale example, I need to feel the exasperation of a flat tire in order to appreciate and feel happy that I have an otherwise reliable car.  It's the whole taking-things-for-granted thing.

Perhaps my dream day would be a majority of awesomeness with a hint of crap thrown in for contrast.  Like a perfectly proportioned spice.  Too much spice, and the flavor overpowers.  Not enough, and it's boring.  But, just enough, Goldilocks, and you've got yourself a winner!

Maybe I should include a French cooking class in my perfect day?  But, of course, I'd have to burn something to make it really worthwhile (I know I can do that really well). 

I have to say, this post has taken me to a place I didn't expect it to go.  I expected to write about coffee, sunrise, sunset, hikes in the woods, flower-picking, painting, photography, a spa day, lunch with friends, and laughter with The Hubs....maybe even a blog post or two.  Hmmm...

Last year The Hubs and I went on vacay and were enjoying a fantastic time on the beach.  There was just enough of a crowd to make it lively but not overcrowded.  The sun was warm and the water was cool and sparkly.  Kids played nearby, and the infertility bug had stopped annoying me long before, so I smiled at their antics.

Then I felt it.  Wait.  Was that a rain drop?  How is that possible?  It's sunshiney!  I looked over my shoulder, and there it was....a gigantic black rain cloud pelting rain on everything under its path.  By the time we packed up, we were being pelted by huge drops and hightailed it back to our car.  Once we got to the car, thoroughly soaked and panting from the run, we took one look at each other and Laughed.  Our.  Butts.  Off!

That was a really great day.  Lots of awesomeness and a dash of crap.  Perfect.

Of course, infertility feels like lots of crap and maybe, if one is lucky, a dash of "just okay."  Kind of like my homemade hummus.  I should probably tone down the garlic next time.

I'll be talking about how to handle those days in the future.  Right now....hang on to your "just okay" for dear life.  And if you happen to find awesomeness in the midst of infertility, burn it into your memory and congratulate yourself for being able to do so.

Until tomorrow...

Be well,
~M

6 comments:

  1. I do think we need the bad with the good. I helps us appreciate what we have. The down side of that, I get really worried when I have a long streak of good. It's like I'm waiting for the bad to come along. I need to learn to enjoy it when it's there!

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    1. I hear you there 100%....many, many people worry about that other shoe dropping. You're right...live in that moment! It's difficult but totally doable. :)

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  2. I've always shared and still do share this opinion about perspective. Apart from infertility I've endured a few difficult things throughout my life and I have to say that without having lived through them I'm not sure I'd have the same grasp on what's a big deal vs. what's not. I would consider myself a fairly optimistic person.

    However, since my m/c in September everything has felt very bleak. It's been hard to hold onto that former perspective. Pessimism crept in and I haven't been myself. This week I actually got some good news - not fertility related. So, instead of lots of good with a dash of bad it was the opposite for me - a bunch of crap with finally a dash of fantastic. It was a really good reminder that the good is out there and it will come back to me sometime soon. So, like you said I've burned it into my memory and have been trying my very best to stay on the positive side of things.

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Ess...not easy to keep optimistic through that experience. I'm happy you've gotten some wonderful news, and I'm glad you're able to burn it into your memory. :)

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  3. Hi there:) Stopping by from ICLW. I'm enjoying reading your blog so far. I, too, have personal and professional experience in both adoption and infertility. Unfortunately, I'm too bogged down in the trenches of IF to try to help anyone but myself these days. I live for the "just okay" moments nowadays, but hope to see things change for the better very soon.
    Looking forward to reading more from you!

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    1. Welcome infertilefirstmom! I absolutely understand where you're coming from...I had to be completely out of the trenches in order to even consider helping anyone else. May you have more than "just okay" days soon. :)

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