Sometimes the experience of infertility (or any mental health issue, really) is so overwhelming and disorienting that we have trouble keeping our thoughts together. We continue to try to think our way through it all the while dealing with some pretty intense emotions.
Now, I do agree that the way we think affects the way we feel; it's actually supported via science. But, sometimes we just need to stop. We need to stop and be.
I'm a gigantic proponent of mindfulness meditation, though I don't practice it nearly enough myself. Mindfulness is a way to absolutely pay attention to whatever is happening in your present moment. Right now, I hear birds chirping outside of my window, and the recycle truck just pulled up to pick up my recycles. There's a breeze coming through the window, and I feel it cool and damp on my skin. I feel my dog's warmth as he lay next to me. As I'm thinking about the breeze, the dog, and the recycle truck, I'm not worried about anything. I'm not thinking about getting ready for work, or even publishing this post. I'm fully present and aware (listening to my fingers hit the keyboard).
Bottom line: I'm giving myself a break. And it feels great.
Whenever I fall off the mindfulness bandwagon, I gently redirect myself to start again. Sometimes I can't begin my practice over by sitting for 15 minutes or more, so I start with the smallest increment. Sometimes that's 30 seconds. That's right! 30 seconds. If you don't feel like you have 30 seconds in your day, then you really need mindfulness.
If you happen to have a full minute today, try this:
Ahhh....you deserved that.
Until next time...