The 50,000 neon signs screaming "It's Mother's Day tomorrow!!!!!"
Okay, that's probably a slight exaggeration, but when trying to conceive, it can feel like an understatement. I think I may have received about 10 email reminders from FTD indicating Mother's Day was around the corner, then "Get moving it's almost here," then "It's not too late! Order now!" At least half (if not more) of commercials on TV lately are all about what to do for moms, what moms want on this most special day of the year, and the fact that Mother's Day should be every year.
For those of you trying to conceive your first child, this day is especially difficult. Moms all around you are basking in the glory of this fabulous day; a day that you've been hoping and praying and trying really hard to become a part of.
It's not the actual day, though, really....it's the big flashing reminder that you are not a mom (yet).
And that hurts.
So, how do you protect yourself from some of this pain? One of the biggest issues surrounding trying to conceive is the feeling of a loss of control. So, I suggest doing something on Mother's Day that gives you a feeling of control. Here are some ideas:
~Plan a ladies' day with some friends with no children
~Have a fun day with your partner: A cheese and wine tour, lunch, shopping, massages, hiking, a picnic, camping for the weekend.
~Establish a brand new holiday to celebrate; it can be mom-related like "Mother-to-be Day" or totally random like "Cinema Supporters Day" (and go watch a bunch of movies). What would your new holiday be?
The trick is to plan this day. It puts you in control, and it gives you something to look forward to.
Here are a couple of articles with some other suggestions:
Coping with Mother's and Father's Day (from Resolve)
Surviving Mother's and Father's Day (from The American Fertility Association)
If you're waiting to adopt, here is a fantastic article just for you (actually, a few of the things go for IFers, too): A Mother's Day Love Letter to Women Waiting to Adopt (from The Adoption Goddess)
Until next time...