Saturday, August 18, 2012

Disappearing Act and The Red Thread

That would be three months of disappearing (chagrin, chagrin).  Whoa.  My apologies for that lovely disappearing act.

On to Act II entitled "Sticking Around So People Don't Get Confused and Wonder If the Therapist Has Abandoned Them Without More Fabulous Resources to Help Cope with The Ridiculousness that is Infertility." 

I'm still here!  With plenty of resources for your infertility and/or adoption journeys.  Let's start with this one:

I'm reading this wonderful book called The Red Thread by Ann Hood.

Have you ever heard about the Chinese belief behind a red thread?  I don't describe it nearly as eloquently as the author, so I shall take it from her beginning pages:

There exists a silken red thread of destiny.  It is said that this magical cord may tangle or stretch but never break.  When a child is born, that invisible red thread connects the child's soul to all the people - past, present, and future - who will play a part in that child's life.  Over time, that thread shortens and tightens, bringing closer and closer those people who are fated to be together.

Isn't that lovely?  It's a theme in the adoption world, but I attribute it to infertility as well.  I like to think that this red thread exists even prior to one's birth.  I know we hear it often enough: "Your baby is on its way to you."  Sometimes it's difficult to know or believe that when in the midst of such terrible pain.  

The red thread is a wonderful visual...your baby is on the other end of it; maybe getting tangled all up in it and stretching it out just waiting for the time that the thread begins to shorten and bring you closer to one another. 

If you practice meditation or guided imagery practices, use this one: Envision yourself holding one end of the thread, knowing that your baby is on the other end.  What does that feel like?  If your baby could hear you, what would you say?  Imagine the thread getting shorter and shorter while you patiently and calmly wait with outstretched arms (I know.  I'm asking kind of a lot).

Someday the thread will be only a speck as you hold your little one in your arms.  If you have chosen a child free lifestyle, rest assured you will touch the lives of some children...even if they are all grown up when they finally get to have you in their lives.

And for those who have been fortunate to become parents, here is a wonderful fairy tale in the same vein to read your child(ren).  It's geared toward adoption, but is a fabulous story all around:

May you find at least three reasons to smile today!

Until next time, be well,


  1. This post made me cry, particularly the thinking about a baby out there somewhere and what I would say to it. The idea of the red thread is pretty amazing to me and one I didn't know about. I have added this book to my to-read pile.

    1. I'm so glad you found some connection with the red thread idea..I've always thought it a lovely concept, and it always helped me in my journey to parenthood. May it be of some comfort to you as well. :)

  2. Maria, I am so glad you are back - I have missed your posts and wondered how you were! I hope these last three months away from blogland brought you much happiness.

    I love this post and this idea of the red thread and am going to try the visualization. I've never been much good at unraveling tangled necklaces, for example ... but I'll try harder to patiently smooth out the tangles in this particular thread. Thank you as always for your unique forms of encouragement.

    1. Happiness, indeed! And, likewise that you've been able to smile lots while I've been away; tangled necklaces or not. ;-)

  3. Hi from ICLW...I love the idea of the red thread and the connection


Thanks! You've grown a few more brain cells by commenting. No have.